Can't get no sleep

12.49am. In bed but having great difficulty in feeling tired and getting off to sleep. What hasn't helped is that I ate a moderately large Indian meal (albeit without rice; it's just a space filler really, nobody really likes the stuff) at least three hours later than we would ever eat at home. Plus I have slight angst about sleeping on my own without Alan, plus a certain anticipation about the residential school tomorrow, but these things will pass.

I wonder whether Alan is asleep. Hope so. It's comforting to feel like I am watching over him whilst he sleeps, even though he's not here.

5.33am. Slept about as badly as it is possible to sleep, about 4½ hours I reckon, all the more galling for it being our own bed. I have eyes like pissholes in the snow. Very glad that we had a completely dry night last night. God knows what I would feel like if we'd had any booze.

Trying not to wonder whether Roy is pacing the spare bedroom, waiting to get up but not doing so out of respect and so as not to wake me. But I feel okay about it, though I daresay mid afternoon when I'm struggling to stay awake I'll be a bit less cheery about it!

Just wondering whether there is any point in dozing off, or whether I should creep into the bathroom now. Keep thinking about all the last minute things I feel I need to pack and take with me, like my razor, that would be helpful!


A quick glance out of our bedroom window and I'm relieved that Kirsten's seriously impressive Land Rover is still there. That's a relief! Otherwise we wouldn't be going anywhere in a hurry. I feel I should be able to wind the window down, and tell peasants to "get off my land" in it.

Still feeling very full after last night's food. Totally not in the mood for breakfast, so I'll just have a coffee, but feeling surprisingly happy.